can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
