We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
