I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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