Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
