Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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