party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
