so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Be still, my beating vagina.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
