Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
