It's Friday. Sex?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
