Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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