just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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