I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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