it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
