I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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