I love black thongs
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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