Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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