On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
