I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
