omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The air was thick with penises
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Bring me that man meat
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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