you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
