pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
