just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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