Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
