so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
