Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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