I want you more than these girls want KFC
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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