Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
