Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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