VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
