dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
