It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's never too late to be topless.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
