dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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