I'm going to jail i love you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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