i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
