whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
