At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I cut my penus on the lid.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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