He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
