I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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