Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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