I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
