would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
