she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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