I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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