You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My vagina just clenched in fear
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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