'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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