it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
