he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
