I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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