All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
