Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
