My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he fucked my hip out of place.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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