your room smells of hookers.
And success
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
